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Floridians Hit Hard by Hurricane Charley
Andreas Stefanovich Speaking to the press after touring the rubble left in the wake of Hurricane Charley, Florida Governor Jeb Bush told reporters, "Our worst fears have come true." With winds whipping up to 145 miles per hour, Hurricane Charley is responsible for at least 13 deaths and several billion dollars in property damage. President George W. Bush travelled to Florida to assess the damage. Assuring Floridians that they would be taken care of, the president issued a disaster declaration which frees up federal emergency funds for use by the state. "In addition to declaring a state of emergency in all affected counties in Florida, I am also cancelling elections in Florida this November," Bush said. With his brother the governor by his side, the president explained his decision. "Our first priority is to get help to those who have been injured. We are directing all available resources- including those previously allocated to the November elections- to helping with the cleanup and rebuilding efforts," the president announced. Floridians reactions to the announcement were tepid. "I'm not worried about the cancellation of elections," said Mark Kellar of Broward County. "It's not like it mattered last time when I voted. At least this year I won't be wasting my time going to the polls." With respect to the limited looting which had occurred since the storm hit, the president announced that "The search is underway for those who are behind these evil acts. I've directed the full resources of our intelligence and law enforcement communities to find those responsible and to bring them to justice." Governor Bush in an apparent attempt to get a word in edgewise added that, "As we speak National Guard troops are patrolling our streets to prevent looting in already devastated areas. Although we hope it will not become necessary, we have not ruled out martial law should it become necessary to take stronger measures against common criminals." Florida authorities have already declared a curfew from 9 p.m. until 6 a.m. to quell the looting. Retirees were reportedly pleased that they would finally be able to have young whippersnappers arrested for being out and making noise past a reasonable hour. In an unscripted exchange after they apparently believe microphones were turned off, the president and the governor squabbled over the decision. "I delivered Florida last time, and I could have done it again," said Governor Bush. "It was so close last time I wet my pants twice. I couldn't risk you screwing up again and having to have the Supreme Court save my ass again," retorted the president. "Go fuck yourself," said the governor unapologetically noting that it was long overdue.
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