Crackers |
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More Than Half of Adult Men in United States Are Insane
Andreas Stefanovich According to the United States Census Bureau, more than half of adult men in the United States are married. The number rises if men who are not married but are living with a woman are included. Mental health expert Dr. Maxwell L. Davis believes that they are mentally incompetent. "Given today's legal climate, a man would have to be insane to engage in close relations with a woman," says Dr. Davis citing a recent judgement awarding more than $10 million to a dropped girlfriend. Dr. Davis is proposing a mandatory nationwide program in which all adult males currently in relationships with women would undergo psychological evaluations complete with compulsory drug treatment and, if they are noncooperative, involuntary institutionalized care. "I would prefer to see men take the initiative to end these obviously unhealthy relationships on their own before yet another evil member of womankind sticks it to him," Davis said, "but that's just not happening in nearly large enough numbers. The fact that so many men choose to stay entrenched in their relationships with women speaks to the vast magnitude of this mental health crisis. A national program to break up such relationships must be undertaken for their own good." Relationship expert Dr. Scott Taylor agrees, but would not stop there. Citing false rape accusations and child custody nightmares that some men have been affected by, Taylor recommends mandatory castration for all men as well. "By rendering all men incapable of either raping or reproducing, we can significantly mitigate the risks men face in their everyday lives as a result of the legal system." When asked why their proposals target men rather than the unjust legal system at the heart of the problem, both experts noted that the legal system was outside of their areas of expertise. Not all men seem to be on board with these proposals, however. In an informal survey done via the internet, Crackers found that male respondents were 100% against both proposals. Anonymous comments included: "Are you fucking crazy?" "These quacks are out of their goddamned minds!" and "You'll get my penis when you pry it from my cold, dead hands."
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