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Tennessee Man Befuddled by Child Support Ruling
Hailey Filipelli A Knoxville woman was found in court this week to have lied about having given birth to and raised a five-year-old child whose existence she was unable to prove in court. Marion Langer fooled several government agencies and was able to obtain documents including a Social Security card, a Medicare card and a birth certificate. However, when ordered by a judge to produce the child in court, she was unable to do so. Instead she appeared in court with a miniature horse in tow. Judge Hubert Olson ruled on Tuesday that the daughter had never existed, but he did find that the woman and her ex-husband had produced the brown Shetland Pony for whose support the "father" was still responsible. Two separate paternity tests were conducted, and both tests concluded that the horse was the natural off-spring of both Langer and her ex-husband Mark Singleton. Judge Olson dismissed the defendant's request to exclude as evidence the paternity tests which the defense noted were obviously flawed. Olson noted in his ruling that "This here DNA testin' is science, and here in Tennessee we's big on science ever since that danged monkey trial." Child support awards normally extend until the child reaches the age of maturity. However, due to the failure of the defendant to present evidence documenting at what point the pony would reach maturity, the judge ruled that the father would be responsible for financial support for the remainder of the pony's natural life. Langer was obviously pleased with the results. "Do you know how much work it is for a woman to carry and give birth to a small horse? I deserve every penny I can squeeze out of that man."
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