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For Real Quote of the Week:
- "If we're picking people to draw out of their own conscience and experience a 'new' Constitution, we should not look principally for good lawyers. We should look to people who agree with us... When we are in that mode, you realize we have rendered the Constitution useless."
- ---"Conservative" Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia who recently concurred with the majority that wholly intrastate activities of personal cultivation, distribution, and possession of marijuana are properly regulated under the interstate commerce clause of the United StatesConstitution.
What a jackass.
Special Reports
- Supreme Court Exempts Congress from Constitutional Limits
Powers not explicitly ennumerated can be fudged under commerce clause
- "Interstate commerce includes activities that take place wholly within the confines of one's personal property located in a single state said a Supreme Court majority in a recent ruling in the case of Gonzalez v. Raich et al. "
- Rumsfeld Recommends Outsourcing Torture
Torture and interrogation workers incensed
- "Last week Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld ruled out the possibility of shutting down in the near future the detention facility at Guantanomo known as Camp Delta citing inadequate facilities in their home countries. However, he did recommend that the United States look into the possibility of outsourcing the current torture and interrogation activities to other countries with expertise in such pursuits."
World News
- Bush Points To Russell Crowe To Illustrate Need For Patriot Act Renewal
- "President Bush issued a specific request Thursday for Congress to renew and expand the Patriot Act "forever" as certain provisions of the controversial act, such as the FBI's ability to seek information on suspicious people by checking their recent library records to see if they include "Flying Planes Into Things For Dummies" and credit card statements for any purchases of official al Qaeda merchandise, are set to expire by the year's end."
- French Vote to One-Up the Dutch, Leave Europe Altogether
- "In a surprise referendum held on Sunday, France voted to go even further in its rejection of the EU and leave continental Europe altogether."
- Sentimental AIRC Plans the Economy One Last Time
- "The Australian Industrial Relations Commission, whose predecessors have set the nation's minimum wage since 1904, today did so for the last time, the Sydney Morning Herald has reported."
- Getting Medicinal Marijuana: What Can You Do?
- "Much like gay marriage, private marijuana usage in one's own home is not the "victimless crime" it's made out to be in the media and Hollyweird: statistics show that over four million people died in 2004 alone from people besides themselves smoking marijuana."
- Bush Considers Closing Guantanamo on Wednesdays
President’s Proposal Falls Short of Gitmo Opponents’ Demands
- "Hoping to appease those who have called in recent days for the U.S. to close the detention center at Guantanamo, Cuba, President Bush announced today that he was considering closing the facility on Wednesdays. "
- Bolton's Anger Tied to Gamma Ray Incident
Don’t Make Me Angry,’ U.N. Nominee Tells Reporters
- "John R. Bolton, President Bush’s choice to be the next ambassador to the U.N., offered rare insight into his much-storied anger today, telling reporters that his uncontrollable rage stemmed from a “freak gamma ray accident” that occurred during his early career as a research scientist."
- Saudis Claim Human Trafficking Is Insignificant Compared To Other Human Rights Violations
- "Saudi Arabia has responded to accusations of rampant human slavery in their country by explaining how minor human trafficking is compared to the rest of their human rights violations."
- Newsweek Retracts Retraction of Quran Desecration Story
George W. Bush Renews Subscription
- "Unconfirmed sources report that George W. Bush has renewed his subscription to Newsweek magazine after it's Quran desecration story was confirmed by the Pentagon. Newsweek is planning on reprinting the story and putting a retraction of the retraction on the front cover of it's next issue."
- Syrian Troops Regret Not Seeing More of ’The Real Lebanon’
- "Syrian troops and intelligence operatives expressed regret last night at not ’getting out and seeing more of the real Lebanon’ after returning from their 29-year occupation of the country."
- Inside the Blair - Bush Working Dinner
- "British Prime Minister Tony Blair retired to a working dinner with George Bush at the White House Tuesday evening, following a long day of meetings and dodging the issue of the Downing Street Memo at a brief press conference. Blair had a sudden craving for real New York style pizza. While the two leaders waited for Marine One to return from Manhattan with dinner, they reflected on their press conference."
Science and Technology
- ICANN Approves .hill Domain for Hillbillies
- "The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN), the oversight group for the World Wide Web, has begun negotiations that could lead to the establishment of a separate domain for hillbilly sites. ICANN said it has begun to have "commercial and technical negotiations" with West Virginia internet registry Grandma's Guns-N-Jerky Inc. (GGNJ) about establishing a top-level domain, or TLD, that would bear the suffix .hill."
- Citing Religion, Pharmacist Refuses to Dispense Pharmaceuticals
Pray for your soul and call me in the morning
- "Marietta pharmacist James "Lou" Clements is the first known professional to refuse to distribute any medicines on the grounds that doing so would violate his deeply held personal beliefs. What's behind Mr. Clements' decision to stop meting out prescription pills, creams and syrups? He explains that his goal is to put a stop to practice of prescribing quickie medical fixes like antibiotics when prayer and fasting can be just as powerful."
Business
- GM CEO Cuts 25,000 Jobs; To Be In New Michael Moore Documentary
- "We decided to close down the plants and cut jobs so that Michael Moore can create a sequel to his Roger and Me documentary."
- Airline to Shut Down Engines to Save Money
- "In yet another cost-cutting move, Northwest Airlines said it would shut down one engine on each of its flights within the continental United States. Northwest, which recently decided to eliminate pretzels and magazines from its planes in another money-saving attempt, said shutting the engines would save the company about $300 million in fuel costs."
- American Family Association Boycotting Ford over Gay Cars, Trucks
A pro-family group plans to ban more gay products, including the Segway scooter, KitchenAid mixers, and the ubiquitous 'biPod'
- "The American Family Association announced this week that it plans to boycott one of the country's top gay automakers. Ford recently announced plans to rollout five new gay automobiles, hoping to grab a piece of the market share currently owned by the Toyota Prius, the nation's unofficial top gay car."
Sports
- IRL Launches Marketing Plan That Will Let Everyone Bone Danica Patrick
- "As the Indy Racing League looks to continue to capitalize on the frenzy surrounding Danica Patrick and the success of this year’s Indianapolis 500, IRL executives announced today the launch of a marketing plan that will let everyone bone the shapely, 23-year old Patrick if they promise to be fans of the circuit."
Entertainment and Lifestyle
- Boy Scouts Confess Trustworthiness Issues
- "A spokesman for the Atlanta-area Boy Scouts has admitted that the beloved organization told a bald-face lie about having over 10,000 inner-city members, double the actual number. The inflated figure was used for undeserved monetary gain."
- Group Warns Spaying, Neutering Promote Pet Promiscuity
Pet abstinence movement has legs, culture watchers say
- "A growing number of traditionalist pet owners are refusing to have their dogs and cats spayed and neutered, saying that surgical sterilization encourages pets to be sexually active before they are emotionally ready."
Cartoons
-Wendy McElroy, Cartoon Editor
- Pain Man
- Mark Fiore animation
- Diversity Diversity
- Ted Rall 'toon
- Under the Patriot Act
- Don Wright 'toon
- Deep Throat
- Mike Luckovich 'toon
- By the Way
- Tom Toles 'toon
- Lesson Learned
- Ben Sargent 'toon
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