I recently had a conversation with someone wherein we made up excuses explaining away the behavior of some jackasses in our lives so that we would not have to be mad at those people. Well, tonight I found what explains mine. I remember as a kid whenever we'd get cut or scraped, our parents would apply either iodine, mercurochrome or merthiolate as an antiseptic. We'd usually go for one of the last two as family lore has it that those would sting less. Anyway, I just looked them up tonight and they both apparently contain mercury. Therefore, I claim mercury poisoning as my excuse. Now you don't have to be mad at me anymore for whatever it is you're mad at me for.